Rain
by Saturday
Summary: Well, I'm the gay, one eyed kid. Why does it always rain on me? [songfic, slash, one shot]


A/N: Ha, I'm so stuck on slash fanfics. Dunno if I like this one.but it was fun to type and I love the song, so there you go. R & R, but no flames please!!!  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Blink, Mush, anything related to Newsies (except the DVD- YIPEE!), and I don't own the song lyrics. Its called "Why Does It Always Rain On Me" by Travis.Ha, I just realized the two fanfics I have ever published have been based on Travis songs, and I'm not even that big a fan. It's a good song, though, listen to it when you get the chance. Okay, here we go! (lol, can't you just hear the drum roll?)  
  
"Rain."  
  
I can't sleep tonight  
  
Everybody says everything is alright  
  
Still I can't close my eyes  
  
I'm seeing a tunnel at the end of all these lights  
  
The one thing I can't stand about you is that you snore so fucking loud.  
Other than that, in my opinion, you are God. Mush Meyers- You could probably call yourself the love of my life if you wanted to. You certainly are. It's all I can do to keep myself from lunging at you every time I see you.  
Except now. Your snoring ticks me off a little.  
I can see you from my bunk, spread out with your head dangerously close to the edge of the bed. You're so damn beautiful, it makes me want to shoot you. But I don't have a gun on me at the moment, so instead I shove my head under my pillow in hope that it'll drown out the noise. It doesn't work.  
  
Sunny days  
  
Where have you gone?  
  
I get the strangest feeling you belong  
  
I hate selling with you. How am I supposed to be able to concentrate with you right there, oftentimes with your arm around my shoulders? I hate living with you; eating, drinking, and sleeping in the same room as you. Every. Single. Day. It just tortures me because I know I can't get any closer to you than I am now. When you touch me, it's just as friends. You're straight as an arrow and I'm-  
Well, I'm the gay, one-eyed kid.  
  
Why does it always rain on me?  
  
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?  
  
Why does it always rain on me?  
  
Even when the sun is shining  
  
I can't avoid the lightning  
  
Eight years. Yep, I've been keeping track. I've known you for eight long years, since we were ten, and loved you for four.  
Yeah, you heard me right. I've loved you for four excruciating years and never told anyone. Well who was I supposed to tell, anyways? I remember when you tried to set me up with some girl last year, and when I wouldn't go out with her you demanded to know why. "I just need some time to myself," I had answered easily.  
So I lied. Could you please shoot me and end my misery? Thanks.  
  
I can't stand myself  
  
I'm being held up by invisible men  
  
Still life on a shelf when  
  
I've got my mind on something else  
  
I hate myself almost as much as I hate you for causing me to suffer like this. How could I have been so fucking STUPID as to fall in love with my best friend? That's the worst part. We're so damn close and you think you can tell me anything- but every story is slowly killing me.  
And you don't even know you're killing me. You just think of me as a friend- which brings be back to where I started. See how you've messed with my head? I'm going around in circles.  
  
Sunny days  
  
Oh, where have you gone  
  
I get the strangest feeling you belong  
  
Maybe I should go over to your bunk and make you stop snoring. It would be a good excuse to touch you in all your shirtless wonder- but then again, how do I know I'll be able to control myself? With you. Shirtless. At midnight.  
Unbidden, a sad smile slowly spreads over my face. I dig my head deeper into my pillow and try not to think about all the things I'd like to say to you.  
  
Why does it always rain on me?  
  
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?  
  
Why does it always rain on me?  
  
Even when the sun is shining  
  
I can't avoid the lightning  
  
I shiver and hide deeper under my covers. It's not that it's cold out; it's July, actually, my birthday month. But I really don't give a damn about my birthday if I can't have you. Maybe I should tell you that, someday- and then kill myself before I get the chance to see your facial expression.  
Because I know the feeling isn't mutual. I watch you too closely for as big an emotion as love to go by unnoticed. Believe me, Mush, I know you by heart.  
  
Oh, where did the blue skies go?  
  
Why is it raining so?  
  
It's so cold  
  
I haven't had a happy day since I figured out I can never have you. No, I'm not exaggerating- you noticed the change in me yourself. I remember you coming up to me, placing a hand on each of my shoulders and saying, "Alright. Spill."  
Ha. Sure, Mush, I'll just spill my guts to you and confess my feelings in the alley by the Distribution Center. Man, that would have given you a bit of a scare.  
  
I can't sleep tonight  
  
Everybody saying everything's alright  
  
Still I can't close my eyes  
  
I'm seeing a tunnel at the end of all these lights  
  
Sunny days  
  
Oh, where have you gone?  
  
I get the strangest feeling you belong  
  
I think Racetrack may have figured it all out. He smiles sympathetically whenever I feel like I'm about to burst. He doesn't talk to me about it, though, like he knows what I'm going through.  
Well, maybe he does. He hangs with Jack a lot; maybe he's developed feelings for him- But then again, you never know with Race.  
  
Why does it always rain on me?  
  
Is it because I lied when I was seventeen?  
  
Why does it always rain on me?  
  
Even when the sun is shining  
  
I can't avoid the lightning  
  
You've stopped snoring.  
I reach under my bed and pull out my razor, the cold metal somewhat comforting against my hand. I press it against the smooth skin where my neck meets my shoulders. "Hey Mush?" I whisper.  
I hear you yawn. "Yeah, Blink?"  
"I, uh. . .I love you."  
Silence. I wait for the knife to start to bite into my skin, the blood to start running down my shoulder, but nothing happens. I'm still in shock that I managed to tell you and I haven't been struck dead by lightning.  
You sit up. In the pale moonlight, I can just see the smile on your beautiful face. "Blink," you begin.  
Maybe I don't know you by heart after all. 


End file.
